I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize