I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
