just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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