Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
