we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
