this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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