I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Randomize
