so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
