Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
The best revenge is premature balding
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize