I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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