so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
