he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
