alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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