dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
These 19 People Had Awkward Celebrity Sex Dreams
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
These 27 People Had No Idea What They Were Doing When It Came To Sex
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.