No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
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there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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