I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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