Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I miss vodka workout Fridays
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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