I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
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