When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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