just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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