That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
