do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
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