so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
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