i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
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