Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
