ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Randomize
