I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
