how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
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