Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
