Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
are you so shy because you have an std?
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
