I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Someone shattered a urinal.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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