Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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