Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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