i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
