If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
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He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
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You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
COCAINE IS GR8
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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