Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I need to sanitize my soul.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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