That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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