Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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