adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Randomize
