I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
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