is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize
