No stitches, just platelets and will power
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Randomize
