You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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