We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
