awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
