She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
