I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
The cops high fived after they tackled you
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
