And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
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