He kissed a someone with a penis
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
