his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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