i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
