Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
my vag is so smooth its legendary
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
