My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
