You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
