tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
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Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
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So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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