When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
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