i just google imaged poop.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Randomize
