boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
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