I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
