sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
