I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize