nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
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I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
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I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
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