I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
